Well I tested yesterday morning like I was supposed to, and to no one's surprise the test was negative again. The disappointing part was I didn't start like I should've. I can't say that surprised me either, but I was really hoping for it. It's amazing how when you're going through IF treatments and a cycle doesn't work, you INSTANTLY want your period. I've very rarely ever wanted it, but now I do. Ironic? Probably. Annoying? DEFINITELY.
I called my doctor's office with the results this morning, and when Lisa called me back she said that I should start within the next two weeks and to call when I am on cycle day 1 again. I guess it's probably better to just let my body do it's own thing and start when it's ready, although I'm not excited to just wait for the next two weeks either. There have been many days in the last 13 months where I feel like I can actually feel time slipping away. Each day that passes without being on a treatment cycle feels like an eternity. It's amazing to think that if each cycle comes and goes right on schedule AT BEST we only have 12 chances each year to finally conceive. It's very rare that each cycle will come and go right on schedule so in reality we probably only have 9-10 chances each year to try for our baby. It gets even more depressing when I think about it like that.
I have been thinking a lot since this cycle failed about what else could possibly be wrong, why we aren't getting pregnant. There is a specific x-ray, called an HSG, designed to check the fallopian tubes to make sure that there is nothing blocking them. I've never had this test done, but more and more I think it's really important to do it. If my tubes are clear, hopefully it will give me a little peace of mind. If for some reason my tubes are blocked, then depending on how bad the blockage is, they can possibly open them, or we may have to move away from IUI straight to IVF. There is no reason to continue with IUIs if it's impossible for my eggs to get out of the tubes in the first place. So for that reason, I scheduled a consult with Dr. H next Tuesday afternoon to discuss the HSG, and any other tests he feels would be beneficial, as well as where he would like to take our treatments in the coming months. I need and want a plan laid out for us, so I know what to plan on and expect. That's one of the hardest parts with all of this, the not knowing. It's a great big guessing game, many times even for the doctors. It's just trial and error, which is so hard to deal with when you're talking about something so important.
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