BFP!!!!!!!!!!

Oh so many answered prayers today! Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has been praying for us. It means more than you can ever know! I can't even begin to explain how I'm feeling right now! I am still in shock that I'm actually PREGNANT! We have waited so long for this moment!

My coordinator called only about an hour after we left the doctor's office! I couldn't believe how fast we had the results! We ran a few errands after leaving the office, (I think Matthew was trying to keep me occupied...hehe) and we weren't even home yet when she called! Then came the most glorious news I've ever heard. "Your betas were positive!" How I managed to not cry I'll never know! I was on the verge that's for sure!

Oh this is definintely a Good Friday in so many ways! So many blessings to be thankful for! I can't wait for our little Christmas miracle!

Since I have waited 16 months to know what a positve pregnancy test looks llike, I couldn't resist peeing on a stick or two :o) This is the most beautiful picture!

One more day

Talk about the longest 2 days of my life! Yesterday I had my first beta. Unfortunately my RE's office doesn't give the results until after the 2nd beta. I understand the reasoning behind it, but it is definitely a slow, painful form of torture! Tomorrow morning I go in for the 2nd one, and hopefully by around noon I will have the results. I am experiencing every single emotion I think a person can. I guess the only good thing is I've only felt like this for one week instead of two like all my other 2ww's.

I'm incredibly relieved that Matthew has the day off tomorrow. I don't think I could handle getting the news alone, good or bad, but especially if it's bad. Thank goodness for no work. I can have my meltdown or fit of excitement at home instead of at work :o) Hopefully we will be celebrating and crying tears of joy!

Crazy is setting in...

Ok, so I was doing GREAT during this 2ww. It's been the best one I've ever had to endure, until yesterday. The longer I have to wait, and the closee I get to results day the crazier I'm becoming! I'm having a lot of "it didn't work" thoughts. I know, I know...positive thinking. I'm trying REALLY hard to combat the negative with two positive thoughts, but man is it getting hard!

Rationally I know that yes there is a 50% chance that it worked, but that also means there is a 50% chance that it didn't work. I've been back and forth between thinking we're soon going to be parents, and thinking that we will be back to square one. If it didn't work, we have 5 little tot-sicles to work with. They are already at the blastocyst stage, and frozen cycles have very good chances of succeeding.

My symptoms, or lack there-of are also not helping the crazy any. I really haven't felt much of anything. Realistically I shouldn't be yet. The hCG levels in my blood are not going to be that high yet, and until they are I won't be feeling any pregnancy symptoms. Any little twinges I do feel I'm positive are just a result of the progesterone I take every night. My head is spinning all day long, and it's getting quite exhausting...I never thought I'd say this, but I'm almost ready for my break to be nearing its end just so I can have my results. I'm ready to know one way or the other, just so we can move forward and start planning for the next steps...whatever they may be.

Spot and Dot, your mommy is hoping and praying everyday that you're still going strong! Sophie is doing her best to keep you nice and warm by lying across my belly every day :o)

One more week!

Ok...so I had a great post all done and ready to be uploaded, and I lost it. GRRR!!!! Anyway I'll do my best to recreate it.

One more week until the big Beta reveal! I find myself stuck in an internal battle between wanting it to be here soon and hoping the next week goes VERY slowly. See, next week is my spring break from school. Anyone who knows a teacher knows that spring break can't come soon enough and is always way too short. So there's my dilemma. My results won't come until next Friday. By then my week of freedom will be almost over, yet I'm anxious and excited to know the results. My first blood test will be on Wednesday, but they won't tell me positive or negative until after the 2nd test on Friday.

I really haven't stressed over this. For some reason this 2ww, which thankfully is not a full two weeks when doing IVF, has been the least stressful of any I've had, and there have been a lot! I don't know if I was so focused on warding off OHSS, or if it's because I have had such a great feeling about our chances, but I really haven't worried about the phone call that will come next Friday afternoon. Now I'm sure I'll be singing a different tune next Friday, but for now, I'm cool as a cucumber :o) Hopefully my lack of worry and nervousness is a great sign!

I found a really cool website that talks about the different stages of development post IVF procedures. Today is 5 days post 3 day transfer (5dp3dt in internet chatroom shorthand). I found a GREAT website that gives the details of each day's progress post transfer. According to the NYU Fertility Center Spot and Dot are now blastocysts, have hatched out of their shells, and are burrowing deeper into the uterine lining to fully implant! Let's hope that one or both of them are still going strong!

As always grow babies grow!!!!!!

We have Tot-sicles!

I heard from my coordinator a little while ago and I am really happy with our freezing report! She said we had 5 blastocysts frozen! I am so relieved! With 27 little embryos still growing the day we transferred I was really afraid we'd wind up with 15 or 20 frozen ones. Then comes the huge question, "What do we do with them?" There is a good possibility we'll have to answer that question if both of my little embabies stick this time, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. It's a lot easier to make the decision with 5 as opposed to 15 or 20! We will be getting a letter in the mail from the embryologist with all the details about the frozen ones. I'm really anxious to hear the number of cells, grades, ratings, etc.

On a side note, I'm back to work today and whoa, am I tired! I knew I would be, but I am so ready for a nap it's crazy! Thankfully Wednesdays are my easy days. My class has several specials on Wednesdays so I can do quite a bit of sitting since they're not in the room all day long. Tomorrow and Friday though may be a different story. Thankfully my pain has pretty much disappeared. If I twist too hard or bend too quickly I'll get a twinge, but as for the constant soreness it's gone. YEA! I was beginning to think it would never go away. I guess the Gatorade (ick!) has helped! I'm still doing my best to choke it down, but I'm supplimenting with a lot of water. Water doesn't do as well at expelling the fluid, but it's better than nothing! What I wouldn't give to have a bathroom in my classroom! lol!

If all is going according to plan Spot and Dot are blastocysts now and working on hatching out of their shells so they can fully implant into my uterus. Let's hope they're doing their jobs!!!!! GROW GROW GROW!!!

Gatorade...oh how I loathe you!

Well...I guess the title of this post pretty much says it all. I have been drinking (guzzling) Gatorade since last Tuesday when Matthew and I went to the RE for our trigger shot instructions. Since I had an insane amount of follicles and eggs I am at a higher risk for developing OHSS (see definitions in the right hand column). Even though they empty the follicles during egg retrieval, the follicles refill with fluid. The fluid can then seep out into the abdomen causing lots of problems if not dealt with properly. So in order to try and prevent this problem I was told to drink Gatorade and lots of it. Gatorade helps rid the body of the fluid much better than water does apparently. So I started my Gatorade regimine last Tuesday. I was doing fine until today. Today every sip of it makes me want to hurl.

I've tried changing flavors which helped yesterday, but today it doesn't matter what flavor I'm drinking. I have to choke it down. I still have about a week to go before I'm out of the woods with OHSS, so I know I need to keep drinking it, and I'm doing my best, but man is it tough! I've been supplimenting with water today. Every sip of Gatorade is followed by several gulps of water. Anything to make it go down easier! I'm still using the bathroom very frequently which is a great sign, so I'm not overly concerned, but I do need to drink more Gatorade than I have so far today. One thing's for sure, I will NEVER be able to drink Gatorade again after this!

My precious little embabies (which my mother has lovingly named Spot and Dot hehe) PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE stick so that your mommy didn't go through all of this for nothing!!!!!!!

Oh and I will apologize now...until the betas, my posts will probably be random and pretty dumb like this. There won't be much to report between now and then. :o)

Two Embies on Board! :o)

This morning was our embryo transfer! We got the phone call from our coordinator to come in for our ET. They actually had us come in 45 minutes earlier than our original appointment time. I was in the shower when the phone call came, so Matthew told me to hurry and then start guzzling my Gatorade. The worst part of the transfer is it has to be done with a full bladder.

So they take us back to the exam room and gave me a Valium to take to relax me a bit. Valium is quite an interesting med...lol more on that later. I was continuing to drink my Gatorade as we waited for everything to get started and Brian, one of the lab techs, comes in with the picture of our embryos. He told us that they were very good. They rated them a 95/100, they were a Grade 2, and had 8 cells. By day 3 7-8 cells is exactly what they want to see. There is some slight fragmentation with them, which is why they were grade 2 instead of 1, but that overall they were very good. I asked about the rest of our embies, and he said they're watching the rest of them for freezing on day 5 or 6. He said they're all still growing, but growing at different rates. Whatever ones are grades 1 or 2 blastocysts by Tuesday or Wednesday will be frozen for future use.

Not long later two of the nurses came in to check my bladder to make sure it was full enough, and they were also checking for any excess fluid build up in my abdomen. Since I had so many follicles and eggs my chances of developing OHSS is higher than most. There was still some fluid build up under my uterus and my follicles were still filled with fluid, so they wanted Dr. H to check before proceeding. He came in and did the ultrasound again, and said that although there was some fluid, he didn't think it was enough to cancel the transfer. With as many follicles as I had, he said he expected some fluid build up. They reminded me again to continue to drink my Gatorade, monitor urine output and temperature. Once he decided that it was ok to proceed with the transfer, out came the speculum (yippee!) the catheter went in, and the abdominal ultrasound was still pushing down on my stomach/bladder. Brian came back in with the embryos, and in they went! They showed us the little embies on the screen and printed out a few pictures for us. It's crazy to think that these are our babies' first pictures! After it was over, they had me lie back on the table for about 30 minutes then came in and said I could get dressed and FINALLY go to the bathroom! THANK GOODNESS!

Now comes the funny Valium part. I didn't really notice anything after taking the medicine, I was lying back on a table, trying to relax my midsection the best I could. Easier said than done, let me tell you! When I sat up to get dressed, that's when I could really feel the effects of meds. Matthew kind of laughed and asked if I was ok. He helped me finish getting dressed because there was no way I was getting my pants back on by myself. Once I steadied myself a bit, I walked to the bathroom, still very woozy, mind you. We gathered all of our stuff, asked a couple more questions and were on our way! We stopped at the grocery store to pick up more Gatordade, and then made our way home. I'm on bed rest orders for the next 24 hours, and after that it depends on how I feel.

So there's where we stand! I am now carrying two little embabies! Lots of hopes and prayers that one or both of them stick and stick tight! My first blood pregnancy test will be on April 20th, the second is the 22nd. They won't call me with the results until after the 2nd Beta. Thankfully those tests will be done the week of my spring break from school. If they're negative, then I can have my meltdown at home instead of at work! BUT they will be POSITIVE!!!!!! :o) Power of positive thinking at it's best :o) Dr. H said to think very pregnant thoughts the next few weeks! Now here is the pic of our little embabies! I tried to put the ultrasound pics here, but they are such tiny specs it's really hard to see them.